`Ape With Bone
Joe’s Haiku!
Play golf in the sun
And you can win a jacket,
That is kind of strange.
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Did the egg come first?
Let’s just ask a chicken then!
Just solved THAT problem.
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From the sky you’re small.
Up close you are really tall.
But inside, nothing.
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We walked on the moon
And we have cloned animals..
Where is my jet pack?!?
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Sluts love attention,
They’re attracted to assholes,
I have no joke here.
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Where’s the teacher’s book??
Shit! It doesn’t show the work!!
I’ll just skip class then..
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In space you can float,
So you can move if you’re fat.
But you are still fat..
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Texting while driving
Makes you very efficient.
Time of death, 1:10.
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That last Haiku sucked.
At least I’m trying new things!
What’s the point, I suck.
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Five syllables please.
Now, seven syllables please.
I’m tired of this..
I think Man Tracker on the Science Channel is a really stupid show ..and now, a song I wrote about things!
A Conversation With My Dog, If He Could Talk
So I’m thinking about selling my electronic drum kit, Yamaha keyboard, and some other of my instruments.
What? Why? You love playing your instruments. BARK!
I know. It pains me to even think about it, but money is tight now. I have to scrape up what I can to pay off some bills. It’s not a necessity for me to have them, it’s a personal luxury at this point.
Make sure you really think about what you’re planning on doing here, I see you go to your instruments when you’re feeling down, you will be taking away something you truly love. Can you cope without them. BARK!
It’s not about if I can cope without them at this point, it’s about if I can pay my bills! For the time being I need to put myself aside and focus on the financial ruin I’m currently heading towards!
Do you remember when I ate that piece of rope?? When I pooped, I had rope stuck hanging from my butt that I couldn’t reach to pull out. The more I tried to poop it out, the more stressed I got; to the point where my butt was tightening and the rope was getting sucked back in! I was stressing for days! I thought to myself, “How am I going to get this rope out of my butt?” “What will the other dogs think of me?” “This is really uncomfortable.” Until one day, when I had to poop again. I waited till my bowels were ready to empty and I pushed as hard as I could! The new poop forced the old poop out and I was free!
So, what’s your point?
Don’t rush into things. Though life sucks now, if you make your moves at the opportune moments, then good shit is bound to happen. BARK!
I like to write and record my own songs! Playing with my guitar, drums, and piano is very therapeutic and makes me feel super cool. I don’t have much actual “training” and I am a bit of a “shitty singer” but I like to mess around. For hours, by myself, I’ll be in my room with my headphones on just jabbering away on my instruments. Then when nobody’s home (for at least four hours, that’s important!!) I like to record myself with my laptop. I just overdub each instrument over itself and hopefully have something tolerable in the end. No post production!!! I’ll edit after I record each instrument/track then fine tweak it after all tracks are laid down. Definitely requires a lot more attention and it plays into my OCD because I like to fine tune in real time as I create it. I normally have an idea of what the finished product will sound like but sometimes it can organically go a different way which changes the song dramatically. For example, I wrote this song called “Nobody Plays in F” (in the key of F of course!) as a slow acoustic track, but one simple tweak gave me the idea to try it as a reggae song. I ended up scraping the whole production and starting it over again. The finished product was so much better than it would have been as a cliche slow acoustic track.
For some reason, beyond me, I write a lot of acoustic folk rock.. and I have no idea why. This song (Train From Florida) took around 5 hours from the first track being laid down (which was the acoustic guitar) to the final track (a harmony during the solo). If your an actual musician then you can probably skip listening to this but if you are just some chum who is easily impressed then ENJOY!
Why I Need to Blog
I suck at writing.. like really bad. I rely so much on spell check that if I were to write on a piece of paper with a pen it would look like jumbled CIA code. My spelling is so bad that my browser, Chrome, can’t figure out what I’m trying to say most of the time. So I’ll have to highlight the word, copy it, then paste it in Google and see what comes up. Google gets me, It always understands what I’m trying to type. It also doesn’t help that my shift key on the left side of my keyboard is missing so I have to use the one on the right. But anyways… I need to get better at writing, so that’s why I’m here.
I find writing to be a chore, it’s not relaxing! I have to stop and think about how I’m going to type the next sentence and sometimes I’ll just end up sitting for a while… which is weird because talking is effortless to me. I can talk for hours and hours, at the discomfort to my friends a lot, jumping from topic to topic; I have no problem just talking on stage in an improv scene, even if indoued as something I have no idea what, but when it comes to articulating my thoughts on paper I freeze up.
So hopefully this helps me, and if you have any tips let me know!!
(Eight extremely bad spell check corrections)
